surprise....it's a frog

We celebrated Austen's (not his real name) birthday 13 days ago. Family and friends in the backyard. It was a very nice day. We had tons of food, much of what we continued to eat for the following four days. The boys played whiffle ball and tag and Austen opened presents. One present he did not have to open. His good friend showed up carrying a plastic cage with an American Green Tree Frog. His mom was with him. Stunned, my husband quickly thought of both my son's feelings and this happy frog carrying boy's feelings. This boy was so excited to be giving the "best" gift. But, the mom never asked us. The frog also came with a tub of food. Live crickets....live crickets that we would also have to keep alive by feeding them potato. My houseplants risk their lives in my home every day.

So the frog stayed. Austen was hesitant. He is a HUGE animal lover and is so careful and mindful of animals. All animals. Even the ugly ones. Even the creepy ones. So, seeing little said green frog in a plastic cage when he knows the little green frog would be happier in the wild was a little difficult. Austen kept saying, "I think she likes it in there".....like he was convincing himself. After a few days, he allowed himself to name her "Hopper" ( according to all the research Austen did, Hopper was in fact, a girl). Austen would check on her several times a day, mist her cage and carefully feed the crickets. He was a very caring frog Daddy. By Wednesday of this week, Hopper stared looking molty and bloated. Thomas and I just looked at each other. By that evening, Hopper had made her last hop. We told Austen and he went to the bathroom for a long while. After sometime, we all gathered in Austen's bedroom to sit shiva together. We buried Hopper in the front landscaping. Austen cried because he loved his little green frog. Russell teared up because of his little brother's sadness. Thomas choked up because he wanted to keep that little frog alive for his son, and for his older son's empathy for his brother and for his little boy's love for a little frog. And I cried because in a house full of tough boys seeing their love and empathy for each other is more than one mom could have ever expected from a little green frog gift.

love you dad

Today's my dad's birthday. I never used to get all that excited about my parents' birthdays. In fact, I don't think I paid all that much attention. I would buy my mom a sweater and I have given my dad coupons for all kinds of things over the years. To be honest, I gave the coupons while I was in my early twenties. I still owe him a tri-pod. I don't think he still wants it. Did he ever? He wouldn't have said or let me know outwardly. That is how our relationship is. We are not outwardly. We are not an affectionate family. I mean my parents, sister and I. We are the tease 'em 'til they know you mean you love 'em kind of family. My dad would say they should have raised puppies, because they are cheaper and easier. I know what he means. I can read between the lines. We don't say we love each other. We sign cards with LOVE.

November 7, 2006 both my parents were hit head on in a terrible car accident. My dad's side took the brunt of the impact, slicing the entire driver's side sheer off. He spent weeks in the ICU. The hospital expectations were low. My mom, sister and I moved into the hotel attached to the hospital. We had other expectations. We knew this man in room #2423. We knew what the staff didn't know. We knew this injured man had incredible strength. He had determination. He had a strong heart. He survived and the hospital was surprised by his will. I know what was at stake. I know what I could so easily have lost. So, now 2 1/2 years later, I'm thrilled I still have my dad around. Our boys have their hero grandpa. I still have no idea what to give him this birthday. Maybe I'll make up a coupon. I'll sign it with lots of LOVE.